Posted in Establishment of Self

Middle of Where? LGBT Community

ImageBeing in the middle can be a great thing! The space is kept warm on both sides and never feels alone…until one side is gone…then the chill of reality hits~

Legally, emotionally, and spiritually the LGBT community can get stuck in the middle. LGBT is changing; discovering who they are not just accepting who others see. LGBT are introduced as the fun aunt or uncle, friend of my son, roommate of my sister, or after ten years of being in the family just “name.”

Being in the middle can be warm and comfortable but is it where we need to be? For years I was at peace with being in the middle; for me raising my son was the focus. Now, I have strong friends that are fighting to raise their children in an open home, filled with love and same-sex parents. They stand on the side; independent of societal approval. My, My…what a decade or two can do!

Today, we need to understand how we are responsible legally to our families. As a younger Mom I may sure my son was covered to the best of my ability at the time but today’s parent has more options and knowledge. Being able to be legally married is not just about the name or wedding date, it is about the safety of the family. I do not bang on the door of change very often but I’ve felt the pull of being in the middle.

Find out about who you are! Research states, their laws and decide if you are willing to work within those laws. For me, Texas is home and I live within the laws of this state but growth is everywhere! Can you get married? If so, can you get divorced? Is a child born into a gay family legally both parents or do you need extra paper work? Right or Wrong these are questions you must ask…or just stand in the middle and see if you reach a level of uncomfortable-ness…

Emotionally and spiritually, what does your family need? If you believe in a high power and want to share that with your children; where and how will that look? Will you teach your child to call you Mom, Dad or friend of my Dad…Where is the middle and is it somewhere you can be? If so, fabulous… If not, then where?

I have inner peace about who I am, where I stand at this point in my life and that I can not judge others for where they stand…I can only say, know yourself and what you need for inner peace…

There are solutions to your questions~asking the questions helps you assemble the solutions that work best for you…

Melinda Porter MA

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Posted in Establishment of Self, LGBT Coming Out

Peace past the breaking apart; Rainbow Colors…

MelindaThe LGBT community has developed just as the light does in creating a rainbow. Individual colors too strong to be hidden in the background or fade into another… each color standing as a group and as an individual.

Learning how to be yourself, a couple, and/or a family when it looks different to the world can be challenging…but possible…

Life is about change. LGBT individuals go through the everyday changes and the weight of being uncomfortable in their own skin. Some have a million reasons why: family, friends, girlfriend or boyfriend, husband or wife, children… but only one reason ‘why’ they do not fit. Having all these blessings and feeling that they belong to the person you are thought to be…not the person you are.

What if the person you are was SO talented, they were able to create an outer self that kept them safe until they were strong enough to handle life as they are? What if the individual had solutions built-in and just needed some assembly done? I believe that the truth in your colors is there!

*Decide who you are aside from sexuality: hobbies, dreams, politics, sports, family, kids…and so on.

*Determine your goals as an individual: career path, travel, etc.

*Grow! Grow into the person you want to be and as you love yourself in your journey others will be able to fall in love with your ability to stand as an individual within a group of beautiful colors that was found in the light~

Much Respect,

Melinda Porter MA